One of my favorite things about being a blogger is the connections I have made over the years; not just with other bloggers, but with other moms. I have relied on other mom perspectives to get me through every age and stage with my own kids.  Moms with kids older than my own have really helped me understand that perfection is not key to a happy childhood, and moms with younger children remind me just how far I have come since those early days as a brand new twin mom.

I really feel like my blog also gives me the opportunity to lift up other moms and share their struggles, successes and stories. This week for my Friday Favorites segment I am sharing some other mom blogs that help me illustrate the first 7 stages we go through as moms. Maybe one of my readers will connect with the information being shared and find some confidence or inspiration. And I like sharing!

THE FIRST SEVEN STAGES OF MOTHERHOOD

Oh my God I’m having a baby!

If your are expecting your first baby you are probably freaking out about delivery and what to bring to the hospital. Will they have good snacks? Will I sleep comfortably? What should I wear? Check out the ultimate checklist for What to take to the Hospital from This Mom Blogs. 

Oh my God I just had a baby!

You just had a baby and the first thing you can think about is how to get rid of the “baby weight.” You might be obsessing a bit with finding just the right system to help you get back into shape. Check out how Jenna The Calm Mom changed her Postpartum mindset. 

Will I ever sleep again?

It is an urban legend that babies automatically sleep through the night. Every parent must run the gauntlet of sleepless nights and learn to function for months on very little sleep. Ryan at The Blessed Mess shares her experience with Sleep Training her son Liam.

How is my baby turning a year old already?

We all get through that first year in a blur. We don’t know how we did it and it feels like over night our little wiggly baby became a toddler. Read Chelsea’s Year in Review at UR Basic mom.

Help! I am outnumbered and they have me surrounded!

Babies do not come with instruction manuals. Nothing can prepare you for the trials of parenting, but there are some resources out there to help. See how Aryn at Cream and sugar is getting parenting help from Boys Town USA.

The mom community is great at sharing tips and tricks for connecting with your kids. Experts have written books about what moms already know. Sara at A Mom and her Momtourage shares Little Things We Can Do to Help Our Littles Feel More Loved.

Throwing in the towel on making it all perfect. 

Total shameless plug for my own blog! I am giving you 4 Reasons You Can and You Will Get a Cleaning Lady!

How do I make extra money to afford these little people?

Even with the best laid financial plans, kids will completely mess up your budget. They are expensive and demand large amounts of snacks! So what can you do on the side to earn some extra cash flow? Erin at Debt and Sweat shares her secrets for Flipping Furniture on Craigslist for Profit. 

All seven stages all happen in the first 6 months to 072 years as a mom. Motherhood is filled with learning moments that come at you fast and furious. There is no training for this and no two moms will face the same exact challenges. The good news is we are all in this together. So, hang in there mamas! We got this!

Disclosure notice: clicking on any of the links above will redirect you away from The Whatever Mom website. It is the responsibility of each blogger participating in this hop to include their own disclosure policies, business relationships and how they use affiliate links.

The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia 

There are days I really fall short of my to-do list. I start out the day with all good intentions but by the end of the day I am still staring down the same basket of unfolded laundry that was there last night. How the heck did my foremothers find the time to clean the house and churn the butter while raising small humans? They didn’t have the distraction of social media!

As a write from home mom I spend a lot of time on the computer, and I surf the net for research. I try to limit my screen time in front of the kids to set a good example. But I have developed a really bad habit of sitting down at my computer and hitting up social media first thing, just to “check in.” An hour will pass before I even realize and I have accomplished nothing on my lengthy list, (unless you count schooling other moms on how to not judge other moms as an accomplishment).

There is a lot of discussion surrounding the effects of social media on our kids, but not much on how it affects our parenting. The average American spends nearly 10 hours per day on screen time. That includes social media and using digital devices. It’s also a lot of time spent being distracted from our responsibilities, and time not finishing things. I always say how much I could get done if I had 10 extra hours in the day. Well, I’ve put my password where my mouth is. I’ve started logging off of social media and only popping in when necessary (for official blogging business of course).

I’ve noticed I make my kids wait less so I can finish typing a comment. I also find myself responding more patiently because I’m not being interrupted from my “conversation.” I haven’t burned dinner in over a week because I am more focused on what I am doing. I am in a much better mood when I’m not confronted by other people’s negative behaviors. I mean really, adulating shouldn’t involve adults yelling at other adults on how to behave in a virtual world that can be obliterated with the touch of a button.

Not only do I have more time and patience in my day, but I’ve learned several things this past week:

1. Not everything needs a comment. Sometimes people post things to vent a frustration. They aren’t looking for answers, or resources, or any opinions. Maybe they just want to feel heard because they aren’t feeling heard in their real life. Let them have it and scroll on.
2. Don’t engage. Social media can be a great place to share information. In fact it was the first place I asked for help when I was learning to mother two new babies at once. However, typing a long lecture or tossing out a meme educating another adult on how to behave, or how they should be thinking isn’t going to help change the world. Before you know it you’ve wasted 30 minutes of your day and now you’re feeling grumpy.  Also, there is no holy grail of memes that is going to enlighten thousands of readers to be better people. Just keep scrolling.
3. Kids are always watching. Our kids can see what kind of memes we share and the language we use, and how we interact with other adults. If we are always treating people with angst, labeling them, or engaging in virtual shoving matches our kids see that too. This forms the way our kids interact with the real world around them. Maybe your kid isn’t on social media just yet, but they will be one day. And everything lives forever on the Internet.
4. You can’t change people. People use social media for different reasons and they share things they think are funny. Micromanaging people with vague posts or passive aggressive blanket statements like, “if you think this is funny then get off my page” isn’t being very social. My rule of thumb is, “if this were presented to me in the real world how would I respond?” Would I kick this person out of my life for telling a tasteless joke, or just walk away? (In the virtual world walk away = just keep scrolling).
5. You’re not a cop so stop policing people’s grammar. Here’s the deal, people post things in haste and they don’t take the time to edit because they’ve already moved on to watching videos of baby goats. Spell check is notorious for messing up my messages and selecting words that I am not even looking for. I know I can’t be the only one this happens to. No one is applying for a job, or submitting an essay for a Nobel Prize with their updates. If it bothers you that much perhaps it’s just a “you thing” and not a world problem? Are we gonna achieve world peace through one properly contracted word at a time? Probably not.

Social media is incredible. The technology allows us to stay in touch with people all around the world, yet has the power to distance us from the people right in the same room.  By managing my time on social media I’ve been able to be more productive in managing my household and patient with my kids. I’m also in a better mood because I’m not bombarded by people’s powerful opinions. For example, today I felt happy while folding an entire basket of laundry as soon as the dryer buzzer went off. And now I have more time for baby goat videos. It’s a double win!

The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia