This year I had the chance to volunteer for picture day at my kids’ school. My last school picture day was over 20 years ago, so it was fun to reminisce. The kids were all so cute and so nervous. I took my role very seriously. Not one kid was getting away with a crazy alpha top on my watch! I hear you parents complaining on Facebook…”who lets a kid take a photo with their hair sticking up like that?” Not me I can assure you!
My motive for volunteering was purely selfish: I wanted to spy on my kids. They are in a different school than last year and I wanted to see how they were doing with the change. By now some of you may realize from my posts, that I am blessed with two kids who walk to the beat of their own drums. They are amazingly strong willed and super smart. They can negotiate their way out of anything and school me in critical topics like how the dinosaurs really became extinct, and reason why there should be a first kid to walk on the moon. They take a very heavy stand on these subjects by the way.
Having strong willed kids isn’t easy. I have learned to pick my battles and when to draw the lines, but it is rarely met with a tone of acceptance. Every tiny decision my kids make can take on an entire discussion of its own. Very early on I had to embrace the fact I have zero power when it comes to my kids clothing choices. They have insisted on picking out their own clothes since they were two years old. One year at preschool drop off a parent took one look at my daughter’s outfit and gasped, “I thought wacky Wednesday was next week?!” It was. But my daughter was going through a heavy stripes phase and wore all of them at once that day. No amount of arguing or even gentle nudging was going to change her mind.
Thankfully, school picture day has never been a battle for us. I already know it’s a fight I am going to lose. So I let my kids wear whatever outfit they want to have their youth immortalized in. I’m prepared for some crazy colors, a demand for accessories, or an oddly placed hair bow. But those aren’t things that will scar them for life so I let them pass. This year my girls did not disappoint. My oldest twin decided she was wearing a hot pink shirt emblazoned with a Batman Symbol, and my youngest twin landed on a Shopkins t-shirt. She liked the colors. I liked that it was still a passable shade of white, and it was stain and wrinkle free. (Those are my set standards for most of their outfits).
Fast forward through picture day and I see kids wearing all different things. Some boys are wearing t-shirts and some boys are wearing ties. Some girls have GIANT sparkly bows and bling and some girls are wearing mini semi-formal dresses (but not one girl wearing Batman). What I realized at the end of the day is that not many of the girls (and some of the boys) were wearing the kind of headstrong confidence my girls were. They were asking their friends to validate if they were pretty enough for their photo, or if their outfit looks cool enough. These youngster were so worried about what their peers think of their physical appearance, or if their parents will approve of their photos. I assured each kid they have a great smile, and that their hair is perfectly in place before handing them off to the photographer. As I watched my girls step into place in front of the camera, with a wide confident smile that declares, “This is me!” I let myself be proud. My girls already know how to be true to themselves and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Some days living with two independent and persistent 6-year-olds can be exhausting. But it pushes me to grow in ways I never expect. Today, I let myself be proud of how far I’ve come in letting go of making everything perfect. There is more to this mom thing than keeping the kids clean and making them wear outfits I chose for them. Raising good humans is hard work. Tears will be shed during this process. Voices will escalate and doubts cast upon my abilities. But when I catch a glimpse of how free my kids feel when they are allowed to be themselves- when I catch them truly liking themselves – that’s where I’m nailing it. Raising little humans who are secure with their own person-hood has been my mission from the start. And it only took a couple of t-shirts on picture day to remind me of that.
The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia
I love that you fully admitted that you were spying! Lol. I would have totally done the same. It’s sort of the reason I became a para when my youngest daughter was in public school. Haha. I’m glad your kids get to wear what they want for picture day. Our schools here have a strict uniform policy. Blah.
Picture day can be so fun and yes it’s nerve wrecking because you want their tops clean and decent and their hair of course to look good too!
My kiddos had picture day last week! I would love to volunteer to help out if needed to make sure the kids look their best!
I’m loving this post! We have a few strong willed kids in our family (and maybe a couple of strong-willed adults too) Ha. Aren’t they awesome? 🙂 Picture day is the best. Good for you for letting them express themself and choose their own apparel.
I so clearly remember compromising and wearing a nice shirt for picture day but my old jeans with holes in the knees and then I ended up in the front row for the class picture. The photographer had me try to cover up the hole with my hands.
I love it. They do pictures at my daughter’s preschool and I gave up and trying to dress her up lol. She is so stubborn, so she gets to pick her own clothes ( within reason haha she would go as a princess if I let her)
Love that you let them wear whatever they want for picture day to have their youth documented! We are thinking of starting the same tradition in our family. 🙂
My boys never want to dress nicely for picture day but it’s great to have those memories with their sill smirks.
As a principal, picture day was my favorite day!! I love our parent volunteers. I loved how the kids got all dressed up and insisted on combing their hair before getting their picture “made.” Must be a southern thing.
It is sad that kids have to experience peer pressure that early already. I am glad that your kids know who they are, that is awesome. Good for you!
I remember picture day so fondly. It was either a mix of excitement or terror. What if I didn’t pick the right outfit or my hair looked bad. But looking back at those pictures now, I love seeing all the different styles I went through.
Lol.. spying on them mom! I hear you though. I do wish I could volunteer more often at the kids’ school just to see what they are up. My job is pretty demanding but I have made it a point to get to that school at least twice for the semester.
I feel like this is how I’ll be whenever I have children…will definitely be spying!
I gave up trying to force my boys to dress up for picture day. Because in the end, they look much better in their own style.
I will admit, when I volunteered, I was hoping to see what my kids were up too as well. But I loved helping the school as well.
I am definitely only volunteering so I can spy and see what my kids are up to at school. I am the overbearing mom on picture day and pick my kids clothes. Although last year I thought the pics would be from waist up and let my boys wear golf shirts and exercise shorts…mistake…they were full length photos. I just had to laugh.
I believe in allowing children to be themselves unapologetically…you rock for that