As your kids get older folks will tell you how much easier things get. There are less tantrums and physical demands than a toddler, or a new born. But what no one tells you is that life is just never easy with kids. Life will throw you curve balls and you may find your kids still tantruming at age 5 and you’re making calls to various doctors for answers. You might find yourself in the principals office for the very first time because your Kindergartner kicked over a chair at school. And even though you were never once in trouble ever in school, you’ll suddenly sweat bullets like you are the kid in the hot seat. Nothing is easy as a parent. There are just no simple hacks for getting through the day with a houseful of people people making demands of your time. In my world, it seems I have very little time to myself to enjoy anything. It can take grand efforts and tremendous planning just to get a little time alone to myself.
Fun fact, I started typing this blog at 6:00 a.m. this morning. Usually I like to write days, or weeks in advance, but life has been hectic. We have had appointments and started traveling for swim lessons. I am not a morning person AT ALL but 6:00 a.m. tends to be the only time of day I am not being asked 20 questions about why the dinosaurs “went extinct?” or “how many miles is it to the moon?” Those early morning hours are all mine to think groggy thoughts and count down to that first sip of coffee salvation. Then the day just spirals into chaotic motion from there. It could be hours, or days before I get back in front of my computer to type up a blog post for ya’ll. It is now 7:00 p.m. and I am praying I get this done before the kids bed time so I can veg out in front of the T.V. later.
So are you wondering how an over worked mom with zero extra hands finds a little “me time?” Well, first I am learning to drop the expectations for a perfect amount of time, or the perfect set up for relaxation. Instead of putting parameters on what is the perfect way to spend my time, I am learning to take what I can get whenever I can get it. Besides early mornings, I often steal away while the kids are playing to read an article on Facebook, or to read a few pages of a good book, or phone a friend. It’s nothing special, or huge, but it’s just a few minutes to plug into something else and I am learning to let that be enough.
The other evening I noticed my kindness wearing thin, so I told my husband I was going for a drive. What I really wanted was to run away to Mexico, change my name to Rosita and live on the beach. Instead I drove to the local gas station and filled up my gas tank. After that I had no idea what was next. Five minutes later, I found myself driving as far away from my home as I could get. I took very scenic twists and turns over the mountains. I turned up the music, opened the windows and let the wind mess up my hair. As I drove toward the sunset at 60 miles per hour I saw a rainbow up ahead. I took a deep breath and soaked in the final minutes of the sunset. I spent the next thirty minutes belting out a tune at the top of my lungs, then I decided to head back home. After an hour of doing just nothing productive I felt recharged. It was exactly what I needed to “get away” from the stress of being a mom that day.
Although my me time used to look like an hour long yoga class and shopping with friends, I find simple, small ways to just be alone invigorating now. These stolen moments driving fast and alone is what helped me unplug for a moment before heading back home. I’ve noticed when I unplug from the stress, everyone else in my family unplugs too. If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
How do you find stolen moments of me time?
The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia
Finding me time can be really difficult! I agree that squeezing in some alone time makes moms have the clarity to parent well.
I travel some for work, so I use those two hour one way trips to think, plan, scheme and seat dance. I am a master at it.
Now that my kids are older I certainly get to take advantage of lots of me time. I love it, but I think all my fun has made some of my friends envious of me.
Wow! I hadn’t even thought of something as simple as a drive around town being me time. But it’s brilliant! I could even listen to whatever I want on the radio!! Love this.
Oh my gosh I blast all the songs I can’t listen to with the kids around. LOL
I feel your pain – the struggle is real! I try to take me time on the weekend. My husband does a great job of taking over to give me a break. If he didn’t I’d have to hire a sitter. 🙂
I know how that goes. I don’t want to pay a sitter money when I can use that cash during me time. ????
Rosita – you got this, girl. Love your dream getaway ideas – but you clearly can recharge just from a basic daily escape with music and a drive.
These are some awesome dream getaways! You need all the you time you can get it!
It’s really hard to find me time when you’re a work-at-home mom but we really need it. Hope you’ll find more me time and do the things you want to do!
finding me time is so important and something we parents easily forget – my me time comes in the form of running! the same feeling with a little less speed :p
Lately between break and vacations, my self care time has gone out the window. I really need an hour or 2 to recharge!
Self care is so much harder when we are tethered to so many others.
My me time comes when everyone is asleep. The house is quiet and no one can bug me or ask questions when I’m trying to work or watching something on tv.
Mine is usually when everyone is asleep, but there are times I need a little extra ????
I’m sure finding me time as a busy mom is so hard! I know moms who have their kids go to bed at 6:30 pm so they have some quiet time for themselves!
I am all about me time. I know that it is very important. I used to feel guilty but now I am totally okay with it.
Good you are over the guilt. Mom time makes it easier to handle being a mom.
The only time I have to myself is when my daughters and husband are sleeping – I usually only work on my blog in the very late or early hours too!
Me too. Trying to change that by planning for things more.