Easter will be here in two more days. That’s when the slurry of pictures crop up on social media and the judging starts. Not that we are judging others because we are Whatever Moms, and Whatever Moms don’t judge other parents right? But how often are we judging ourselves? We wonder if our efforts stack up to be enough compared to everyone else’s. We start to compare how we show our love and measure it against how other parent’s show theirs. Maybe you’ll see pictures from a mom who handmade her kids baskets, or a mom who made all her kids candy from scratch, or maybe from a dad who assembled a bike for his kids. Now you are looking at your offerings with scrutiny and worry it’s not enough.
I’ve been there. Actually I’m there right now. I haven’t even started shopping for my kids baskets yet. I have a working idea of what I want to put in them. There simply wasn’t enough hours in the day this week to sneak away to buy everything. We were busy enjoying our break and having fun. We spent our days outside in the sun and taking each of our kids on special date days. Now I’m feeling the time crunch and I see all these pictures of great baskets popping up in my news feed. I’ve even posted a blog for “non-candy” ideas and yet, I have not picked up anything for my kids’ baskets. Does this mean I love my kids less? Nope.
The defining moments of being a parent do not come neatly packed with pretty bows and delivered on time. The material things we supply our kids with do not reflect how much we care. Being a loving parent happens when your kid dumps an entire glass of milk across the table and you don’t scream at them. You calmly help them sop it up with a towel and explain it’s OK accidents happen. Even if it is the third time in the same meal. There’s nothing pretty, or neat about that. Love for our kids shows up in the every day moments when we bandage up the scraped knees, or teach our kids hitting isn’t nice. None of those things are unwrapped once a year with eager anticipation. When our kids grow up they will look back at how much fun they had during the holiday, but that holiday fun won’t be what defines how much we love them. Our value as a parent can’t be counted out in exquisitely colored Easter eggs and giant baskets of gifts.
So, as we head into the Easter weekend know that everything you have to give is enough. All the time you spent pouring over the details of kid baskets and the meal you’ll prepare is enough. Being present with your children is enough. Set aside the worry and self doubt and just know you are enough.
Happy Easter All, and if you do not celebrate Easter Happy Weekend All!
The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia
I can’t even imagine raising children with all of the social media chaos in my head. I don’t have any little ones but just speaking from my own childhood I know the memories of times spent are what is the most important.
Social media eats up a lot of time! It’s amazing how much digital interface has replaced face to face time.
I am not a mom but I can’t imagine all the pressure to have this perfect easter event and the prices of some of that stuff is insane. It’s good for you to remind moms that they are enough
I don’t remember any of the stuff I got as a kid- well maybe the chocolate bunnies. I mostly remember how our holidays felt.
I agree! I want to create memories for my kids and with my kids. I don’t care what others think or say. I’m not perfect. No one is. I consider myself a great mother for my kids and will do anything for them. Have a fun and Happy Easter weekend!
Hope you had a wonderful Easter making lots of memories! Thanks for taking the time to read this post!
No lie, I got one of the pre-made baskets this year because I just did not have time to make one lol. It;s all good though, my daughter will be happy and that’s what matters right.
Love this post! I’ve been trying to be much more present since the birth of our daughter a couple weeks ago, making sure our toddler has the attention he needs and savoring the sweet memories we’re creating as a family of 4. Great read!
Yeah – Easter (and other holidays) have really upgraded the way we gift things to others. The Internet and Pinterest adds a bit of help for ideas, but also a bit of pressure. Just enjoy the time together – thats the main idea, right?
I absolutely agree!
I used to look at other moms photos and think wow that’s so nice, wished i could do that, or had time to do that…ever since i hit my mid 30’s though, all of that is out the window! thankfully.
It’s easy to get caught up in it. But, once we realize life will go on without it we can let go of those expectations easier.
I’ve afraid of what the future holds for me raising two boys with social media. The days of chat rooms used to be what I grew up with. Scary stuff.
I’ve stopped comparing myself to other moms lol. I do what I can and perhaps some moms think I give myself too much me time, but I love my kids and I go above and beyond for them, am there when they need me and teach them about us all having our own space. I didn’t go big on baskets this year because I also don’t want them expecting too much and to be grateful. I want to give them experiences not just a bunch of stuff. Being a parent is tough work, I try to never judge other moms.
In the beginning I did compare myself to other moms. I thought I had to do all these extra things to make me a good parent. Turns out I just need to be me, because that’s all they really want. 🙂
Social Media can really make us focus on the wrong things. I agree that just spending time with them helps!
This was a hectic couple of days and Easter just arrived much sooner than my list could tackle. You’ll see no pretty pictures of me prepping baskets or the beautiful morning enthusiasm with perfect happy children in matching outfits. We survived and our daughters knew no different. Now we all need a nap!
Hope you got that nap! That’s better than a basket full of chocolate!
We typically share a couple moments on social media but do not broadcast everything. I hate the stigma!
Seems no matter what you do someone always has a comment on how you are doing it wrong. 🙁
This is a great reminder to parents to cut themselves some slack. You are enough and you give enough so why compare yourself to others.
Seriously!! We work hard enough to provide our kids with a healthy life every single day. One picture perfect moment isn’t going to make or break that!
I feel you on this one! It can be tough in today’s ever materialistic and competitive world but being a good parent comes down to the presence you have with your child every time.
I read this at the perfect time! I couldn’t afford to get my kids baskets this year; however I was able to cook them an amazing dinner (which they loved) and hide a few eggs.
And I’ll bet they remember that the most! Time spent together and of course an egg hunt. Kids have a much smaller list of expectations than we realize.
Great post! Let’s face it – Momming is messy, and that is a simple fact.
I had to run out Saturday night for basket goodies. I am just glad we all enjoyed time as a family together. Happy Easter!
Social media definitely adds a lot of unnecessary pressure. I stopped caring and comparing last year and I’ve never been happier lol….