A few weekends ago IÂ wrote a post on Facebook that went like this:
It just seems like my husband has things a little easier. The weekends are less hectic which equals less demands for racing through breakfast and less drama. He often gets to sleep in because he is up early during the week (I am too, but I apparently exist in the shadows). I envy both of those things- less drama and more sleeping.
On weekend mornings my husband doesn’t get up with a to-do list on his mind and go right to work. Seconds after his feet hit the floor he b-lines it to the shower. No one stops him to ask a million questions, nor does he stop to ask anyone else questions. He needs a shower, he takes a shower. I can not figure out how to make this work for myself. As soon as my feet hit the floor I’ve been had, “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! What’s for breakfast?!”
“Nothing I’m taking a shower!”
“Awe but I’m hungry!”
“Eat your sister!”
We had a bad snow storm on Saturday which left me trapped inside by snow, two kids and a stomach bug while my husband went to work. I laid in bed fuming that when hubby is sick he gets to stay in bed and make zero breakfasts. No one talks to him, looks at him or even goes near the door to his room. When I get sick, “mom can I have a snack?” “mom will you open this?” “mom can I have water” “mom are you breathing?” I decided not this day. I am too sick and exhausted to even move right now. I have been vomiting for several hours and I am in NO MOOD for demands. The kids will learn to survive this day or starve. (Thankfully they survived and there’s a future post on that).
The weekend flies by and I wake up Monday morning with a lengthy to-do list and a minor headache left from too much “sleeping in” over the weekend. I count five different stores to shop through. “I’ll never make them all in time!”
But then, something miraculous happens when I stepped into Target. I decide, today is the day I just wanna be a dad. Now if your husband, is anything like mine, he may have a broken give-a-shit-meter. My husband hasn’t given one shit about the gifting process in the last decade + we’ve been together. Today, I didn’t either. I grab a cart, crumple my list and toss it to the floor before I take the aisles by storm with a determined pace. I walk through the men’s department and grab stuff off of wracks and toss into my cart, “yep! this will do!” I swing by the wrapping department to pick up some fun Holiday Crackers to give to the kids at Christmas Eve dinner. When I flip over the box I see these things open with TNT (as in dynamite) and the grand prize is a nail clipper. “Who gives a shit? Not me! I’m dad today!! Ahahahaha!” I throw them in the cart. I throw more things in the cart that I could get at other stores for less, but why the hell make an extra trip just to save a few dollars? I can’t believe how easy this is! It is so freeing to just not care! No worries! No regrets! How have I been living my life all these  years?!
Next stop Kohl’s! Hubby hoarded a small bank roll in Kohl’s cash that I was able to guilt him into convince him to let me have. I really need a few shirts for myself and thought I should pick up an extra pair of pajamas for him to feel cozy in during his weekend sleep retreats. Normally I am so indecisive about clothes. It can get really stressful picking out the most flattering colors and fabrics. I have to be concerned with what’s in fashion, what season it is. But not today! Today I am the dad! I care nothing of colors and seasons and I grab a fist full of the same damned shirts! And yep, I still don’t give a shit!
Now I am about to slam dunk this shopping trip in just two stores! I’ve come to the section of the program where I need to select hubby’s new fashionable sleepwear. What is his favorite color? Does he like flannel, or cotton better? To hell with personal preferences you are getting those tacky Christmas pants on a hanger from over there and the Merry Christmas Darth Vader t-shirt wadded up on top of a pile from over here. I don’t care if they aren’t coordinated, or even match. Who needs fancy buttons and comfortable fabrics?
I am done!!
In record time!!
The. Crowd. Goes. Wild!
The cashier high fives me and says, “no charge today m’am! What you’ve accomplished here today is payment enough!!” Then she sheds a tear while bagging my free items.
Ah. It really does feel good to be the dad now and then. To not live so trapped inside my head with details. Not having to waste time obsessing over things like a healthy breakfast and worrying if your gifts are perfect. Those things just power the meter and wear you out. Nah, this thinking things through and making things magical is just dumb. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to grab a shower and take care of a few stray chin hairs.
Merry Christmas Everyone!!!
The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on MamapediaÂ
  
   
  
 
30 Comments on Taking Over Christmas Like A Dad
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I am not in the spouse-mom role yet, but among other things, your post has encouraged me to never let there be a difference between the mom and the dad role! If only more women were brave enough to say “not-today”.
Thanks for sharing!
Honestly, hubby and I have been totally opposites about the gifting since before kids. LOL He is so much more laid back than me!
Haha! I love this! My fiance also has a broken give-a-shit meter in a lot of departments. I wish I could be as stress and care free as him. I will have to try this approach to Christmas shopping next year.
I love this!!! Sometimes you just have to let go and be whatever! Great post!!!
Thanks!! I’m learning to let go and let Whatever be!
It’s so funny how us as moms and women have a particular way of even shopping. But, men can find the simplest items.
I should give him credit that he can be a thoughtful gift giver. But, he really doesn’t stress about it, or for as long as I do! LOL
My husband literally has nothing to worry about for Christmas. I even buy my own gifts and wrap them for him.
I will say he does buy me the gifts I tell him to. He just discovered Amazon shopping to get it all done and was finished shopping before me!
I love this post! My dad has hardly any input into Christmas – he’s so relaxed and calm whereas my mum takes care of everything haha
Haha! My husband doesn’t help me think at all about what gifts to get the kids or his mom. I even pick my own gifts and wrap them. I did assign him getting stocking stuffers but I still pick them, he just pays for them. lol
haha this cracks me up! My husband has absolutely no idea what I buy anyone for Christmas, but he does pay for all the gifts with his Christmas bonus so I am thankful for that!
That is a nice perk! 😉
L-O-V-E!!!! My one question is…did it work out for you with the handful of shirts you grabbed?
Thankfully yes…. 🙂
I love this! The holidays have gotten so stressful and is it really worth it?
Nope! The more I rush and feel pressured it makes me feel less joyful about my favorite time of the year.
I struggle with this sometimes too. I am a stay at home mom so I appreciate him going to work but when he’s off of work, he’s off of work. I am always working and taking care of the house and kids. So I totally get this!
Right, moms can’t check out of their jobs as moms.
Oh my gosh! I know how you feel. I’ve been there in the past. But I never was able to let it go the way you have! I would love to hear the story of how your kids survived the day, too!
For me letting things go does not come easy to me! Ha, ha! I’m working on it a little at a time!
My husband has no idea what my kids have under the tree, he hasn’t wrapped a single gift, or thought about Christmas dinner. Thats the one thing he is in charge of and today Im stressing over the fact we don’t even have our turkey yet!
Don’t worry…he’ll make it happen! I don’t know how, but he will find a way!
Ha this is the best! My husband is super laid back over Christmas. I am the one that goes out and gets everything to make sure it’s all perfect. He does throw in presents though ha!
My husband doesn’t stress about the same things I do! LOL
While both of us are working we don’t really do xmas gift as we dont really celebrate that way and have no kids yet 🙂 we usually just ask each other what to get. We also divide house bills and all the rest of expenses. Other than that his money is his and I do with my own. 😉
Finances were much simpler before kids and SAHM life. 😉
I can totally relate to this post because my husband never seems as stressed out as I am during the holidays. I need to take a lesson from him and pass him a few more things to do.
This makes me laugh so hard. Dads know nothing about getting Christmas together LOL!
I’ll be honest. My husband cooks breakfast more than I do. But when it comes to shopping, it’s all on me! I love this story!