“I’m saving up to be a stay at home mom because I want to be around to limit screen time and make sure my kids are eating only healthy food,” said the young single girl I was chatting with. I thought to myself, “Oh sweetie, let me tell you how I became friends with the TV.”

Don’t get me wrong I don’t think TV is evil, and I don’t judge moms who eliminate it or put limits on it. What happens in your household is your business. As a first time mom I really had this fantasy that my children would be capable of entertaining themselves at some point, and before that we’d have beautiful days filled with learning opportunities. We would follow a routine with structure and make arts and crafts, take nature walks and have sensory activities. What I did not picture in this fantasy was the complete physical, emotional and mental exhaustion I’d feel nearly every single day. I did not factor in my children would have their own minds and express their desires so deeply and passionately (by passionate I mean full blown tantrum). Never had I ever imagined a typical day would include being taken down by a toddler tag team. One distracts me with a poopy diaper while the other climbs to the top of my head, and in a choke hold pulls me to the ground. Then it all turns Wild Kingdom. Two raving chimps begin ceaselessly jumping on me (one without pants because she was just getting a change) and they screech with laughter. Oh, also I did not account for having twins. Whoops!

As soon as my kids could walk and run in opposite directions it has been a struggle to find peace and to finish tasks. By the time the terrible two’s settled in I gave up trying to keep the TV off. My kids were up by 6:30 and finally asleep by 9:00-ish. Did I mention they gave up naps? Those two and a half glorious hours I had to myself each day. The only hours where I could finish the dishes, laundry, eat my own lunch and enjoy a solo phone conversation. Gone.

It was around this time I had my first anxiety attack ever and landed in the ER. It took a brilliant neurologist to tell me there’s nothing wrong with you. “You just need a Xanax and a good therapist.” At first I thought she MUST be getting a kick back from big Pharma! What she continued to say was, “you are trying to do too much all alone. Gone is the day we raised our kids in a village. If you want to be healthy learn to manage your stress better.” So began my journey of learning to let things go.

The first thing I let go of? Mom guilt. Then I grabbed the remote. My girls watch very limited programing in small doses. We started with Blue’s Clues then branched out to Dora the Explorer and it was just downhill from there. If I want to finish cleaning up from lunch and start dinner they watch TV. If I need to just take a mental health day (yes even SAHM’s need those!) I turn to Disney Jr. Some days I can feel my brain shaking trying to make room for any singular thought amongst the loud screeching and whining of my children. That’s when I turn on Little Einsteins.

My reality is I am outnumbered. I have limited day care options. There are two human beings suction cupped to my body 90% of the day. It’s stressful. It’s difficult to get through when I don’t have time to decompress from that stress.  How do most adults decompress at the end of the day? In front of the TV with their spouse!   So, how do my girls and I decompress during the day? Sheriff Cali.

Let’s just take a collective sigh here. Give ourselves a break from the mommy guilt and understand that even Harvard graduates probably watched hours upon hours of TV before their 1^st birthday. So, my dear young, single friend, when you’re ready to take a break I’ll be happy to bring you a hot fresh coffee and the TV Guide. Then I’ll share with you the magic of bribing your kids with Goldfish crackers and juice boxes.

I was prepared to write a whole fluffy craft piece about how to host your own glow in the dark egg hunt. I realized it is more important to share what happened behind the scenes during party prep.

Being a “whatever” mom is new to me. I am by nature a high strung personality. I like things to go my way, as planned. I had several plans for this night. It was going to be epic! Not only did I plan on glowing eggs but glowing treats too. I planned for glowing Jello and glowing frosted cookies accompanied by glowing Sippy cups of milk. My kids would ooh and ah over the spectacle. My husband would think, “Wow my wife is so talented!”

Turns out, the science guy on goscience.com is liar. Tonic water does NOT phosphoresce under a black light (at least not the bottle I purchased). I was more than a little disappointed when the Jello did not glow. That meant my frosting would not glow either. I shouted a bristly, “Whatever!” through gritted teeth and tried to move on. But, I carried that disappointment with me. I attempted a little razzle dazzle with glowing Sippy cups. Not what I imagined. It seemed so much simpler in my head. I thought, “OK, there’s still time to salvage this party. I’ll start filling the eggs early.”

Now, all you need to make glow in the dark eggs, is a twisted up glow bracelet placed inside a plastic egg. You can get plastic eggs and glow bracelets at your favorite dollar store.

I couldn’t bend the bracelets small enough so I enlisted my husband to help. He tied them into a small pretzel shape and jammed them into the eggs. He only broke open six bracelets- releasing glowing ooze (Supposedly “non-toxic.” We’ll know more if he starts growing appendages). I was so disappointed that nothing was working according to my plan. This night did not look anything like I had envisioned. I was about to throw in the towel and call this idea of mine an epic fail. Then, I heard giggles and little voices squeaking with delight. My girls had picked up a pile of the glowing sticks and began running through the basement playing their own games. They used them to cast magic spells and send each other signals- all the while oblivious to the frustration building inside moms head. Suddenly it hit me, I didn’t need to get so worked up about what was going wrong. I simply needed to enjoy what was going right.

As soon as I let go and said, “whatever” (for real this time) the party turned out pretty perfect. My girls had so much fun hunting for glowing eggs, they didn’t even think to open them to look for treats. They took turns hiding eggs for each other and even cheered each other on. We had a lot of laughs and it was a total blast.

Learning to let go of perfection and the stress it creates in my parenting – that is what being a “Whatever” mom is all about.

I was prepared to write a whole fluffy craft piece about how to host your own glow in the dark egg hunt. I realized it is more important to share what happened behind the scenes during party prep.

Being a “whatever” mom is new to me. I am by nature a high strung personality. I like things to go my way, as planned. I had several plans for this night. It was going to be epic! Not only did I plan on glowing eggs but glowing treats too. I planned for glowing Jello and glowing frosted cookies accompanied by glowing Sippy cups of milk. My kids would ooh and ah over the spectacle. My husband would think, “Wow my wife is so talented!”

Turns out, the science guy on goscience.com is liar. Tonic water does NOT phosphoresce under a black light (at least not the bottle I purchased). I was more than a little disappointed when the Jello did not glow. That meant my frosting would not glow either. I shouted a bristly, “Whatever!” through gritted teeth and tried to move on. But, I carried that disappointment with me. I attempted a little razzle dazzle with glowing Sippy cups. Not what I imagined. It seemed so much simpler in my head. I thought, “OK, there’s still time to salvage this party. I’ll start filling the eggs early.”

Now, all you need to make glow in the dark eggs, is a twisted up glow bracelet placed inside a plastic egg. You can get plastic eggs and glow bracelets at your favorite dollar store.

I couldn’t bend the bracelets small enough so I enlisted my husband to help. He tied them into a small pretzel shape and jammed them into the eggs. He only broke open six bracelets- releasing glowing ooze (Supposedly “non-toxic.” We’ll know more if he starts growing appendages). I was so disappointed that nothing was working according to my plan. This night did not look anything like I had envisioned. I was about to throw in the towel and call this idea of mine an epic fail. Then, I heard giggles and little voices squeaking with delight. My girls had picked up a pile of the glowing sticks and began running through the basement playing their own games. They used them to cast magic spells and send each other signals- all the while oblivious to the frustration building inside moms head. Suddenly it hit me, I didn’t need to get so worked up about what was going wrong. I simply needed to enjoy what was going right.

As soon as I let go and said, “whatever” (for real this time) the party turned out pretty perfect. My girls had so much fun hunting for glowing eggs, they didn’t even think to open them to look for treats. They took turns hiding eggs for each other and even cheered each other on. We had a lot of laughs and it was a total blast.

Learning to let go of perfection and the stress it creates in my parenting – that is what being a “Whatever” mom is all about.