Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not really perfect. I do spend a lot of time trying to make things perfect though. I am always in a rush to get places on time or earlier than on time. I’m in a hurry most days to check things off my list. I try to out best myself the next day to see just how many things I can actually finish in one day. As much as I feel like I’m in control of things, I’m really not. It feels like being busy is the same as being productive. But being busy, and checking things off on paper doesn’t equal a quality life.
While I’m busy and rushing I’m not really living in the moment, or enjoying the simple pleasures of life. In fact I most often don’t even notice them. That is until one of my kids stops to point them out. While I’m rushing us from one errand to the next, or trying to make better time than our last shopping trip, one or both girls want to stop to pick dandelions. It never fails as I am ushering everyone out of the door because NOW WE ARE RUNNING LATE, one or both of my girls will stop to notice the puffy clouds shaped like a puppy, or maybe they’ll stop to talk to a neighbor. I have not left any time in my agenda to participate in any of these things. I read off my list and move at a quick pace that will get us perfectly from point A to point B in the mot efficient manner.
That isn’t living.
Living is in the slow moments. It’s in the time we take to create a magical bouquet of flowers in our front yard while our groceries warm a bit in the car. Living is in the time we take to watch clouds roll into different shapes, or wait for the kids to pick the perfect stuffed lovey to bring in the car. Those are memories we carry with us. In another week I won’t remember the 20 things I was able to finish in a day. But I will remember the way my kids’ faces light up when they hand me a bunch of tiny flowers. And my kids will remember that I took the time to smell each one with them.
I think this week I’ll trim my to-do list and task myself with living a little slower. Here’s to getting one step closer to letting go of perfection.
The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia
I also need to try to remember to enjoy those small moments more often. I have really been working on that this year and so far, I am doing better than I was – so that’s a start 🙂
Hoory for starting!
This is so good! Even though I am not a mom yet, it’s reminder even in my day not to get so engulfed with my to-do list that I miss out on the special moments life gives you.
You don’t need to be a mom to struggle with perfection. It just doesn’t help the mom situation.
Such a hard thing to do! I think we all have this perfectionist living inside of us and you are absolutely correct, that’s not living! Being present and enjoying all the little things…that is living 🙂
Thank you for reading and understanding!
It is so hard to be a mom and always want everything to be perfect, especially for your kids. I always set my expectations way too high!
I’m finding that staying in the moment I am in doesn’t leave room to build expectations.
I need to learn that things can’t and won’t be perfect. I have anxiety if I can’t get everything done or it doesn’t go the way it should. I have my expectations for myself way too high.
I have lived my whole life that. I started out leaving dishes in the sink overnight. When I woke u I said to myself, “I survived! And the world didn’t stop spinning!” Then it was all baby steps from there. ????
I’m not a mom but I can still relate to this. I am constantly trying to be perfect and have a million things going on all at once. I need to just calm down, relax, and enjoy the moment.
I was like this before I was a mom too. Only then it worked for me, but now there is no room for perfection.
I am so guilty of this. I get so caught up in trying to do it all and do it all perfectly that I try to juggle too many balls and end up dropping something.
I know that feeling well
I’m totally going quickly through a lot as well – when I shouldnt. Some things I want to speed through, but really – we should just enjoy it all.
I am built for a fast pace. But I realize now how much I miss out on by not slowing down.
Ugh. I have the hardest time living in the present. I’m always thinking about the next step while simultaneously regretting not getting good photos earlier in the day. Trying to make a conscious effort to just enjoy.
Perfection can steal our joy. I battle perfection all the time. It can take great effort on my part to stay in the moment.
I cannot begin to explain how better it is to live your life in the moment and just take things a little slower than you’re used. It really helps, and it keeps you sane as a mom too! Lol.
I am learning to stay in the moment more. Before I know it this childhood thing will be over and I won’t get a redo!!
No mom can ever be perfect. It would be so much better to just do the best for yourself and the kids and everything will feel like it’s perfect. I love that you mentioned about taking it easy and slowing down. That’s what we all need.
I hate trying to be perfect..even though I catch myself stressing out about it all the time! Lets all take a break and just quit trying to be perfect!
I have been hard wired for perfection most of my life. I sometimes need to make a conscious effort to let go.
I have learned that the mess can wait. Sometimes I have to let the dishes sit in the sink, or forget about the laundry to spend some extra time building a blanket fort with the kids.
I absolutely agree!!
I find those moments that I let go and just let things be are some of the best most memorable moments! It’s hard to get to that place though!
You said it so well stop and smell the roses, enjoy the magic of being a kid without real life problems. I need to do this more and it is an important lesson.
Sometimes I like my to do list and just let it sit. We have so little time to enjoy life so why not appreciate the little moments. The to dos will always be there.
I try to find the beauty in the every day or to do something that makes me smile. Even 5 minutes of pure joy can make a difference in all the craziness.
That’s the best thing you could ever take a break from. IT’s way to much pressure to put on yourself and it’s not possible.
Noone is perfect and the sooner we accept our flaws, the better life gets for us.
Such a good post – it made me giggle, nod and it’s also really deep. I totally agree that slow living is the way to go – I’m in so much rush ALL THE TIME that this week I was convinced that my Tuesday was Thursday and I took out our bins, did every Thursday chore just to realise I got the days wrong. Bah. SLOW DOWN TEREZA.
There has never been a time I could say that I was the perfect mom.. even for a minute lol. But striving to be has never changed! But I can totally understand this! I have to try and not compare myself to those around me and what I see on TV LOL
I enjoyed this post. It really hit home. I really need to do better in remembering to enjoy those small moments. Those are all that truly matters in life.
Definitely no such thing as being perfect. Especially when it comes to being a parent. We just do the best we can each day.
When you look at social media and remember most of these moms started from the bottom. I’m not perfect either.
I have to remember this. I am a perfectionist and I often forget to just enjoy the moment with my kids.
No one ever is perfect, & I am not a mom, but I don’t expect any moms to be perfect as well!
Yes! This is so right. I long ago let go of perfection…didn’t seem possible anymore after the third baby came along. I am definitely in a place of slowing down, and I love it.