Happy Friday All!
This week guest blogger (and new mom) Debra shared with you how she’s read all the latest books on baby sleep and none of them work. Guess what I’m sharing with you today? A book written by an expert. Wait, wait, wait!! This isn’t just any expert. She is an expert at letting go of perfection. Lose That Mommy Guilt, Tales and Tips from an Imperfect Mom by Cara Maksimow.
I know most days it’s hard to find time to read the back of a shampoo bottle let alone an entire book. But the 150 pages is a quick read! Instead of the pretentious lecture about the exact steps you should follow to execute efficient routines, Cara gives a few options with the understanding that not everything works for everyone.
Cara is a certified therapist, writer, mother and owner of Maximize Wellness Counseling & Couching, LLC. Everything written in this book encapsulates my exact mission as The Whatever Mom. And it touches on nearly every area of motherhood where I feel guilty. From potty training, to pacifiers to dealing with kid drama Cara shares her own guilty moments and what works for her.
I love that Cara encourages us mommies to embrace our imperfections as part of this motherhood experience. We are all going to make mistakes and it isn’t worth our time to continually beat ourselves up over them. “As the baby grows the mommy guilt grows. It doesn’t matter how good of a mom you are, you will find a way to beat yourself up over something, I am here to say that it does not have to be that way. As moms, we are amazing and we don’t recognize it enough! . . . You do not need to let “perfect” get in the way of amazing parenting.”
I literally felt myself breathe a sigh of relief after reading those words. I wish I had read them sooner! Cara delves deep into the mom psyche and pulls out the big things we stress ourselves out with and then tells us, it’s going to be OK! I don’t know about you, but for me, I need to hear that now and then. I need to hear someone tell me that I’m not the only one worrying about ruining my kids lives (don’t worry we aren’t ruining anything).
We all get caught in the big trap of anticipating judgement from bystanders. Even a woman who has degrees and is educated on human behavior gets stuck in those real moments. You know the ones where you have to make a snap judgement to let your kid pee in a parking lot?
“I admit I taught my three-year-old girl to squat in the mall parking lot once (maybe more than once) to avoid unbuckling the baby from the car seat and going all of the way back inside the mall to find the nearest bathroom. I was smart enough to know we would not make it in time. Driving home quickly would have at best lead to a urine soaked car seat, so I made my choice.
Thankfully, it was summer and she was wearing plastic jelly shoes. I was worried someone would see me and judge my parenting. My negative self talk was on high that day. What mom lets her three-year-old girl pee in the parking lot? Clearly, I was that mom. It is what it is. I am not particularly proud of it, but I have learned to let go of that particular guilt.”
That’s why I enjoy this book so much. Cara writes from an authentic place of struggle and humor. I feel like she gives us permission to be real about the crazy choices we make as parents. And isn’t that what being a Whatever Mom is all about? Letting go of the idea of perfection? Life is messy and completely imperfect. You do whatever works to get through the day even if it is just surviving from one moment to the next!
Cara has also published a few other books that you can find on Amazon. One lucky reader is going to get a copy of Loose That Mommy Guilt and a bonus planner for a Kick Ass Month! You know the drill, enter below!
Thank you Cara for writing this book so the rest of us can realize not one single mom has it completely together and none of us is escaping motherhood without feeling guilty.
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The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia and The Novice Mommy.
Disclosure: There are no affiliate links contained in this post. Product for giveaway provided by Cara Maksimow personally. No financial compensation was received for this review. All opinions contained herein belong solely to The Whatever Mom.
Love your supportive advice for moms. Its always important to take things in stride and not be too judgemental about yourself or others.
Karen | GlamKaren.com
If we could just overcome mom guilt, we could rule the world! We are our own worst enemies.
I was talking to my husband about this last night. I need this book.
I think almost every mama suffers from some sort of guilt – I need to look into this one.
Sounds like a great book. I would love to have read it when I was a first time mom.
I’m not a mom. But I see so many friends talk about mommy guilt, so I think they would really like this book!
Great advice fro mamas. You totally inspired me today.
Guilt can be so crippling, it’s important to recognize it and deal with it before it becomes part of your identity.
This sounds really fantastic! I am adding it to my to read pile this summer for sure!
I’ve always said that you’re amazing as long as you’re doing what you need to do for your kids. That’s all your kids need. I know my kids love that I am there for them and I have no mommy guilt. I used to but learned early that no parent is perfect.
I love this book. Every new mom should have it next to the diapers.
Someone very near and dear told me when my son, my first born, was 6 months old, to just follow my gut! I have listened to my own heart every since – even when friends told me otherwise
I believe that being a mum is something we can all make mistakes at – nobody is perfect and we should all know that. Great post and giveaway 🙂
Its so hard to let go of trying to be perfect, especially with how much judgement gets served out on a daily basis on social media. What I’ve found is that moms love to hear about your imperfect moments because they can relate in some way or another. We’re all far from perfect anyway 😉
I love the idea of embracing my imperfections as a parent. After all, parenting doesn’t come with a handbook and it is not easy.
I wish I had seen this book when I just started. That’s when I was buying books like Mommy Guilt by armloads. In eight years I found my sailor’s feet and got to a comfortable and cozy spot. But I’m glad to hear that there are more authors and experts out there who propagate the idea that perfection is a dream.
So funny that I just did a post on this! I am suffering from mommy guilt lately but I am trying to shake it off!
LOL – love the pee in the parking lot story as I am sure we have all done something a little questionable but who cares! As long as we are taking our kids’ best interest to heart it’s all good 😉
I have a hard time letting go of guilt as a mother. I am going to work on this.
Mommy guilt is definitely a real
Thing. I think all moms go through guilt once in awhile but we just have to keep reminding ourselves that we are doing the best we can.