Before I was a mom I knew my kids were going to eat perfectly balanced, delicious, organic meals because that’s what I planned for them to enjoy. It was like I had psychic abilities and just knew they would love wearing adorable coordinating outfits and having their hair tied up neat with pretty little bows. And, of course, my children would know how important it is to follow directions perfectly and need only a few gentle reminders.
Then I had kids. Twins in fact. So, that’s two at once. I didn’t know that I would eventually eat my own words. My kids are picky eaters who typically wear crazy mismatched outfits with their hair tied up loosely in a sloppy bun. Most of their outfits are accessorized by large, rubber rain boots. I once had a parent look at my kids outfit and ask me during preschool drop off, “I thought wacky day was next week?” There is just NO “bending my kids will” in my parenting.
My one daughter is NAHAHAHAT a morning person. Waking her requires three stages:
- Duck and cover.
- Run like hell.
- Screw it you’re going to school like that.
It is rare we have a peaceful morning. There is usually a 20 minute meltdown about the breakfast choices; which is then followed by another 20 minute crying fit because I made her selected breakfast items according to her exact specifications, but “that’s NOT WHAT I WANTED!!” This has resulted in many mornings of me shoving a piece of sandwich meat, or string cheese in her hand and marching her out to the car. We have exactly a four minute commute to her school so she eats what she can eat during our short trip.
Just as I began feeling guilty about the food choices she gets in the morning, I realize she only rejects the hot meals I wake up early to make. So, I no longer feel like a bad mom because she just won’t accept the available choices. I have come to accept that doing whatever it takes to make it through my morning is giving my kid a strange breakfast in the car on the way to school. Fighting against that just makes for more tension and arguing and resistance from my already super strong willed child.
I used to think (and judge) parents giving into their child like this was bad parenting. But, now that I am a mom I think it’s good parenting- good parenting looks like picking your battles. Fine, eat cold cuts for breakfast, but you are not getting away with pushing your sister. Go ahead and take your socks off before getting out of the car, but you cannot run through the parking lot without holding my hand. Sure wear that crazy outfit to school, one day you’ll decide six different layers of stripes isn’t necessary.
My mission isn’t to go to battle over every little thing my kids do that goes against my grain, or to control their behaviors to the point they can only respond with robot precision. With two kids in the same developmental stage of pushing boundaries, I’d loose my ever loving mind (and many days I do) trying to keep them perfectly in line. I think they’ll go farther in life when they know mommy loves them enough to accept them just the way they are; even with their crazy hair, mismatched outfits and refusal to eat my stellar breakfasts!
So parents with strong willed picky eaters your kids are going to be OK! You, are going to be OK! Believe me, I know how hard it is to choke back the tears and suppress the obscenities every time your efforts are rejected. As for me, I don’t think eating breakfast before leaving the house is ever going to be a non-issue, but I also won’t let it be our biggest battle. In the grand scheme of life letting my kid eat a weird breakfast on the way to school isn’t what’s going to land her in therapy one day. I am sure I am doing plenty of other things wrong that will keep her future therapist in a comfortable lifestyle.
Whatever. It’s just breakfast.
The Whatever Mom is a full time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here, Find her two party Body Beautiful project here and here.
Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy
26 Comments on Whatever. It’s Just Breakfast.
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I know I have a picky eater at home, I wish she likes everything including healthy vegetables :-/
My kids are still babies, so I don’t know how picky they are yet. As of right now, they both eat their food fine. I hope it stays that way, but I know that’s unrealistic.
Enjoy it! I hope your babies love food! My girls ate EVERYTHING I put in front of them until the age 2 1/2. Then they rejected everything. I swore I wouldn’t serve nuggets and fries but when your kids won’t eat anything you get desperate and take the plunge. They went through an adventurous phase where they tried a whole bunch of new stuff over the summer and now we are back to picky. Maybe one day I won’t have to work so hard to get them to eat! lol
That would definitely make for some stressful mornings! But if you take a look at what people eat for breakfast in other countries, cheese and meat aren’t exactly the weirdest ones on the list!
Haha I with your daughter I am not a morning person at all either – might have to try some of these ideas myself as I hate eating first thing. x
It’s usually all out hell here in the mornings with my kids. IF I can get them clothed and fed and out the door on time, I give myself a huge pat on the back! lol!
I am so relieved to hear I am not the only mom struggling with the morning routines! Sending you a pat on the back from me!!
Haha omgsh I love this and you just made me feel human again! I had a rough day with my little one and, well, it all started with breakfast! 😀
Awww you’re so brave to deal with Twins! I’m not a morning person either…
Oh man, those are the stages of our mornings too. Mornings are rough…..
Oh my goodness how I love this so much! My daughter is hard headed and extremely stubborn about food! When I was pregnant I swore up and down she would eat healthy and would like it! Wrong! She hates it! And she eats in the car on the way to school! We live an hour away from her school and my work. So I do the best I can!!! It’s nice to see we aren’t alone in picking certain battles. Thanks for sharing!
So glad I’m not alone either! Thank YOU or sharing! 😉
Great tips! I too was a perfect parent before I became one 😉
I went through that recently. Every complaint about cereal. One day it just clicked, she doesnt like cereal! Duh Mommy. Lol. There are so many other options.
I LOVE this post. Every word is true.
Ha, ha. Thanks! I wish it weren’t my truth- but here I am! lol My new mantra: “it is what it is.”
I was the same way when I was a kid. I refused to wake up and hated getting ready for school. You are doing a great job raising them, though!
My son is such a picky eater, but the things that he loves are so off the wall, like scallops and tuna and salmon steaks. I guess he likes all seafood, haha! My husband is a chef so it kills him that our son won’t eat what he cooks.
Oh that must sting! I am not a chef but I put a lot of thought into our meals. So, when it is rejected I feel like it goes to waste.
My 7 year old is complaining about everything lately. Glad I’m not alone.
Becoming a parent really teaches us how silly we were before. 😉
I wish I could relate to this, but since I am not a mom yet it’s hard for me to understand what you are going through. But I completely empathize! And know that you are doing a fine job <3
Becoming a parent immediately clashes with every preconceived notion ever formed! One thing motherhood has taught me was patience. It is something I pray for daily 🙂
I can so relate to this. Our twins sound exactly like that, but both are not morning persons, so you can just imagine how chaotic our mornings are on school days.
I am seriously thankful only one twin is this way. If both gave me this much drama every morning I might be homeschooling just to save me the agony of leaving the house so early. 😉
I have a couple of picky kids like that right now! So glad I’m not the only one, lol!