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Make a Summer Bucket List!

Dare I say the winter that would never die has finally passed and we can FINALLY, FINALLY (no for real this time) enjoy some summer time activities? Woo hoo!

For us, summer begins a flurry of travel plans, exciting adventures and new places to see.  I feel like our social calendar fills up so quickly it’s easy to lose track of the simple things summertime offers. My girls are 3 ½ this summer which means they can enjoy a greater variety of activities this year. This age is when those warm memories start to really take hold. I want to share the lazy parts of summer with my kids as well as the excitement of big adventures.

This year we are making a Summer Bucket List!

 

Get as fancy as you want when making your list
Get as fancy as you want when making your list

Making a summer bucket list is a fun way to add new adventures, make memories and keep traditions alive. We made our list by first checking out local sites we keep meaning to try. We added a few new hiking places, some old hiking places and parks/museums that offer free admission days.  I layered in a few summer staples I want to be a memorable part of my girls’ childhood- like making s’mores, snuggling by a camp fire, eating ice cream for dinner and watching fireworks. I didn’t forget about those rainy days that catch us by surprise. I sprinkled in a few rainy day activities to keep us busy and to make some memories with; like dancing in the rain, a puppet show, making a fort and a Disney movie marathon.  I am excited to wake up each day and choose our own adventure!

 

Display list in a frame and use dry erase marker to check off items
Display list in a frame and use dry erase marker to check off items

Here are some tips for making your own Summer Bucket List:

Keep it simple. If you put too many big adventures on your list that require a lot of planning, travel time and money it may feel more depleting than memorable.

Check your local resources. Are there free hiking trails, picnic areas, beach areas you can use? Many libraries have free museum passes to loan, and they offer free programs throughout the summer.

Set an intention for the season. Are you looking for more family time? Are you looking to slow down and enjoy the simple life? Do you want to start a family project, or get more involved in your community? Maybe take a “staycation” and explore what your local area has to offer.

Consider what stage your kids are in.  For the under 2 crowd maybe a simple list of things to accomplish with them. Like learn to blow a bubble, see grandma for the first time, or try a new park. If your little one is more mobile and ready for some action you can try group activities like a new story hour, make a new friend at play group, or try swimming in a pool.  Don’t forget about all the free sample classes at your local Little Gym/Gymboree, Music Together and other “mommy and me” type classes.

The fun part is getting the whole family involved! This way everyone has something to look forward to. Display your bucket list where everyone can see it and take turns checking off completed items.

 

Display your list or make an interactive list by using cards you pull out of a bucket
Display your list or make an interactive list by using cards you pull out of a bucket

 

The completed list becomes a great keepsake for any scrap book. Hey make that one of your bucket list items- scrap booking your summer! Enjoy!

Get your FREE printable bucket list 2014 Summer Bucket List 2!

 

We Fill Buckets in This Family

Be a BucketFillingFamily

The last few weeks have been a challenge. My twins are constantly tackling each other, screaming at each other and just entirely not being nice to each other. If I pick them up from school they are rumbling. They are rumbling during the car ride home and they are rumbling after gymnastics practice. Quite honestly their behavior is starting to drive me nuts!

While wracking my brain to figure out an effective way to discipline while creating teachable moments I remember my girls love the book How Full Is Your Bucket for Kids by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer. It’s a book they read and discussed in school.

Photo: Amazon.com
Photo: Amazon.com

I bought the book to read at home. After we read it together I understood more clearly how important it is for my kids to learn just what makes a bucket dipper; and more importantly how to fill someone else’s bucket. Allow me to explain.

This book introduces kids to the concept of empathy. A young boy learns that every one of us carries an invisible bucket over our heads. Every time we say or do something not nice the bucket slowly drips and becomes empty. But, if we give compliments, take time to listen and do nice things we not only fill someone else’s bucket, but our own buckets as well. The illustrations really help bring this concept to life and even young readers can understand it.

Photo: Inner Pieces Gallery
Photo: Inner Pieces Gallery

As soon as we finished the book I was inspired to create a family bucket filler chart. (I used items I found at the dollar store. Everything was pre-cut and I attached with double sided tape. That is the extent of my craftiness). I polled the girls for what they think a bucket filler looks like, sounds like and what it feels like when filling up someone else’s bucket. I hand wrote their words on the chart to serve as our guide for good behavior.

Family Bucket Filler Chart

Each one of us gets a bucket of our own with an envelope attached.

Family Bucket Filler Chart

Every night at dinner I ask each person in our family, “what did you do today to fill sissy’s (mommy/daddy) bucket today?” Each answer is written down on a card and placed in their envelop. For every card filled out I add a drop at the top of the bucket. We read all the cards at the end of the week.

I laminated the buckets using clear contact paper so I can draw each drop with a dry erase marker. I can erase and start over again the next week. If we each have five drops by the end of the week we get to participate in a special activity. This week is a Fro Yo sundae at Sweet Frog.

I attached the coupons for our activity above the chart so we can all see what we are working toward.

The first day or two neither kid got any drops in their buckets. But, once they earned their first drop they caught on quickly how this all works.

We are on week two and already I am seeing some positive effects. Both of my girls are quicker to take responsibility for their own behaviors and seek ways to apologize for and remedy hurt feelings.

I feel like participating as a family demonstrates for my kids we are a team, and everyone has to be accountable for their actions. Taking responsibility for their behaviors  is something my girls struggle with (as most five year olds do). I can’t tell you how often I hear, “she made me do it!”  I also like that it’s a more positive way to nurture good behavior and lay the foundation for empathy.

This is just what is working for us this week! For us, adding the chart brings tangibility to the message of this story and is a great tool for me in creating teachable moments.

 

What’s working for you this week? Feel free to share in the comments below!

 

The Whatever Mom is a full-time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the BIG potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy

When You Have a Less Than Perfect Summer

 

You probably saw this meme (or some version of it) pop up in your news feed. All moms start out excited for the laid back summer months and with wide eyed optimism declare that this will be the BEST summer ever! We make “summer bucket lists” and plan big magical vacations. We hit the ground running with so much enthusiasm that if it were a ball it would choke a horse. Then we run out of crafts, take all the trips, the kids eat all the good snacks and we lose every ounce of patience. That’s when the count down to school drop off begins again.

I had a very simple (perfect) plan for this summer. The girls would attend a summer program for six weeks. And in that six weeks I would complete every neglected home project, automate my blog posts, organize all my meals and buy all the school supplies. I’d be so far ahead of the game come September I’d be taking time off for massages and pedicures! All those perfect plans came to a screeching halt when I got the call the night before our summer program was scheduled to begin that it is cancelled. Also cancelled are my hopes and dreams. I do not have a plan B. There is no plan B when you already have a perfect plan A. All the slots for other camps are either taken or we cannot afford them. As a result I am left scrambling. I quickly realize I got this, I’ll just keep doing what we do every summer. I schlep, the kids whine. It’s how we do.

Except this summer. 

 

 

 

This summer I decided to embrace this less than perfect plan. Not because I am #blessed with one more summer with my kids. Not because I am going to turn this around and still make it the #bestsummerever. I decided to embrace the chaos this summer because I am tired. Just so darned tired of holding us all together. Holding my household together and holding my blogging life together. I’m just plain tired. And ya know what? So are my kids. They are tired of my drill sergeant antics pushing them out the door to be perfectly on time for activities. They are tired of getting in the car every single morning to venture off to someplace they did not pick, or to go do a craft they could care less about. None of these activities are for them. They are for me.

I chose to be a stay at home mom nearly 7 years ago (it was supposed to be only 1 year. Another plan that didn’t go accordingly). It has taken nearly all 7 years to discover my kids and I are different people. I just sort of assumed we are a package deal. We spend so much of our waking hours (sometimes our sleeping hours) together that we call ourselves, “the three amigas!” It never occurred to me until this summer that we are nothing alike. We have much in common, but we are so completely different. I am extroverted and I need people. My kids are introverts and they need to be home. Staying home too long can drive me crazy. And so I plan things to do outside the house and force my kids into all kinds of activities. I scream. They cry. We all cry. Rinse, lather, repeat.

 

 

It’s now August. I’ve embraced this chaos for a month which feels like much longer. As a result I made zero blog posts for July. I have made zero business contacts and I have only completed 0.02% of my home projects. We haven’t done very many crafts and we skipped taking a summer vacation. But we have a (bitty) pool and a new basket ball hoop. I’ve read two books and I took an overnight getaway to the beach with a friend. The kids are happier picking out their own daily activities which typically includes playing in the back yard, pool time and playing video games or watching TV. The biggest ventures away from the house have been berry picking, visiting our library and meeting friends at the park.

My memories of summer include TV watching, making up my own things to do and spending time with my friends. My childhood is probably the last time I had any unstructured down time. Kids grow up fast. They won’t remember all the museums we visit, or all the hotels we stay in. But they will remember the tranquil feeling of swinging for hours under their favorite tree in the back yard.

I am enjoying watching them play and reading for myself again. For my extrovert time I escape to dinners with friends, or I invite friends over for dinner more and I make completely un-necessary Target runs. No camps. No travels. No big events. Just “the three amigas” enjoying being their own less than perfect people. Maybe this is the perfect summer after all.

 

The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents. Don’t forget to subscribe via email so you never miss a blog post again! You can also find her work featured on Mamapedia 

 

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2014 Was So “Whatever”

I’m not one to make a lot of resolutions for the new year. But I do like to look back and think about all the good things that happened in my year. 2014 has been a pretty great year for the Whatever Mom. I started this blog less than a year ago as a way to keep friends and family in the loop of the fun things I do with the kiddos. Shortly after I started blogging I was picked up as a weekly blogger by Hudson Valley Parent. It has been such a great group of women to work with!

This blog quickly became my creative outlet–not just for crafting with the kids, but for the personal projects I have accomplished. I feel like the Whatever Mom represents the every mom–the mom who despite how hard she works feels like she just isn’t doing enough, and the mom who feels judged and struggles to keep up. Under all the chaos of motherhood, we are all moms. I am so grateful to the moms who joined the Whatever Army with me in my first major blog project!

Glasco3

After my initial project I continued to blog about crafts, cooking, organizing, the stressful parts of parenting, finding ways to entertain the kids and checking things off my bucket list. There were some awesome guest bloggers and prize giveaways!!

Liz and her husband- one of the reasons why she uses Wiltree products in her home.
My friend Liz & her husband.

https://www.facebook.com/NaturallyLiz

Read more about making your own freezer meals with Wild Tree here. (Giveaway is over).

Liz
Liz Malgieri, RD Thyme Retreat https://www.facebook.com/ThymeRetreat/info

Read more about how to stay hydrated here. (Giveaway is over).

 

Pamela from Creating Barefoot
Pamela from Creating Barefoot.

https://www.facebook.com/CreatingBarefoot

Read more about how to make watermelon cupcakes here. (Giveaway is over).

 

On a personal note, this year I began my countdown to 40.  I shared some personal stories about my family and my personal loss.  Oh wait… did I forget to mention meeting actor Jason Lee and getting an interview printed in a local magazine?

Jason Lee 6 1 14 cropped roxie ulster

(OK, I’m not a psycho- I know that picture of me with Jason Lee looks a little obsessive. Mr. Lee was kind enough to pose with my family. I don’t post pics of my children on the Internet so I had to crop everyone else out… no really.) I could write a whole blog post about both of these events, but I will spare you the gushing details.

Most importantly, I have enjoyed connecting with 350 new friends! I truly appreciate each one of you taking the time to sign up and follow me each week. I hope you will continue to follow and feel free to give me feedback on topics that are interesting to you!

I wonder what 2015 will bring? I am hoping it will bring me a ton of new followers and take my blog to the next level! (Pretty please!). I hope it will bring me more chances to connect with friends more personally (not just Facebook). I hope for more opportunities for creative projects that do not involved glitter and glue, a chance to travel and introduce my kids to new things and time to focus on my health. After loosing so many friends and family nothing is more important than staying healthy for my kids. 2015 will bring me to my 40th year. (Ack!).

new year

Wishing all of you an amazing year ahead in 2015!

May each of you find much love, health, wealth and happiness in the New Year!!

How to start your own city swap

With summer winding down I took a look at our summer bucket list. It was fun counting up all the things we have checked off. What a busy summer it has been! It feels like we just made our list yesterday and I can’t believe how quickly this summer has passed!

One special bucket list item we still have left on our list is starting a city swap. I was inspired by those posts from Little Passports that keep popping up in my Facebook news feed. You can choose a monthly payment option which starts around $15/month to receive an explorer kit with info about another country. These kits are geared toward 5-10 year old kids. Nothing for the preschool crowd. But, even preschoolers love getting mail. So, a friend and I decided it would be fun to for our kids to swap facts about the cities we live in. It’s a more personalized way to get to know the world outside of our home town; it’s like having a pen pal but with a twist. (And no financial commitment).

Here’s how I started:

I made a list of important city traits. For example, I live in a former port city so the Hudson River and our light house is a special part of our local culture. Art, music and food are all very important in our city as well. We made a trip to our library to narrow down some information about our city. The girls and I found these great activity guides with facts and educational games about our local ecology. We also found some post cards featuring local art and additional pamphlets to share. Such a fun way for our friend to learn about our city!

Now that we had a few fun things to include in our swap, we decided to introduce ourselves to our new little pal by sending a message in a bottle.  (Keeping with our port theme).

blog-005 edit

We recycled a seltzer bottle by rinsing the inside and stripping the label from the outside. Once the bottle was dry we added our letter and fun facts about our city.

Next, we made a trip to the post office to determine the amount of postage needed to send our bottle. Did you know you can send almost anything in the mail? The woman at the post office said she once received an actual coconut! For some fun, inspiring ideas for sending your own happy mail check out this cool blog www.giverslog.com 

We brought our bottle home and added our stamps. We left it in our mail box for the postal carrier. Wonder what he thought of our silly package?

pen-pal-blog 3

Our next package will include a special surprise. Another short informational pamphlet about one of our favorite hikes, AND these little “water chestnuts.” Thousands of these little black, spiky things liter the shoreline every summer. The locals call them “cow heads.” Since my friend and her son live more inland we thought this might be fun to share. It will definitely seem unusual. These little things are iconic in our hometown.

Again, we recycled something we already have. This time a spice jar. I rolled up the pamphlet and inserted the chestnut shells inside.

spice jar

Here are our first two packages before labels and stamps.

blog-012 edit

This little project has definitely sparked some creativity and challenged our imaginations. The girls love assembling the packages the most. They also enjoy visiting the post office and seeing how everything there works.

Our next few packages will include some local art, maybe some local music and some sweet treats from our favorite chocolatier. Each item we include will of course need a creative package to carry it through the mail. The idea is to share things that make our city so special while getting to know a new friend and the city he lives in. These packages are geared toward tots so the info has to be short, simple and fun.

This is a really fun, creative way for young kids to send and receive mail; or for older kids to keep in touch with friends they met at summer camp, or far away friends and family. As a bonus it’s just fun to get something so unexpected in the mail.

What are some fun things you have sent in the mail?

 

 

What To Do on This Rainy July 4th

Greetings on this rainy 4th of July! If your day is starting out like ours, you may need some ideas on how to spend this rainy day inside with your little ones. Below is a recap of some fun things to do while stuck inside.

 

Today is the perfect opportunity to check off some of those summer bucket list items! If you haven’t made your summer bucket list yet there’s still plenty of time! Or you can just use this 2014 Summer Bucket List printable.

Check list

 

 

Arrrr ya ready for an indoor Pirate adventure? Take some time to make a map then hide treasures around the house and find them using your map.

Final maps
Final maps

 

Did you miss my post on making pinwheels? This is a quick, fun activity to do with the kids. Use whatever paper you have on hand!

Final product
Final product

 

How about simply bringing out the paints and paper and let the kids run wild? Here are some easy, fun July 4th craft ideas.

Step 1

 

And, if you can’t get out to see the fireworks, why not paint them? Here’s a fun craft from our friend Pam at Creating Barefoot.

fireworks

 

 

So you just blew through all the crafts in less than an hour, now what? Who says you have to stay inside ALL day? Why not let your kids run outside to play in the rain? Every kid loves dancing n the rain! They are only little once! Maybe it will inspire you to host your own Mess Fest later this summer?

The perfect day for puddle jumping!
The perfect day for puddle jumping!

 

However you choose to spend your day I hope it is relaxing, safe and enjoyable. Happy July 4th everyone!

Easter Basket Gift Round Up!

Non-candy easter basket gift ideas
Contains affiliate links. I make a small commission at no extra cost to you when you shop those links.

Easter is traditionally observed as a religious holiday, but like any holiday in America, everyone is invited to join in. The Easter season begins with Lent and ends with Pentecost. The season lasts for 50 days (nearly two months, not just one day!). Just for this one holiday season, more than 90 million chocolate bunnies, 91.4 billion eggs and 700 million Peeps are produced each year in the United States alone.

Next to Halloween, Easter is the biggest candy driven holiday. When I was a kid our Easter baskets were FILLED to the brim with chocolate treats and sugary confections. I don’t know what my mom was thinking giving all four of her children (very close in age) free reign over so much candy. Maybe she was too tired to care, or just opened the door and tossed the candy on the lawn so we had to fight over it and only one of us could reign supreme? (Old age makes the details fuzzy).

Babies

Anyway, a lot has changed now that I am a parent. Instead of focusing on the treats, we try to fill our kids’ Easter baskets with things they need, or items they can use rather than eat. The first holiday my twins were just babies and we bought them a few outfits and stuffed animals to snuggle, but really did not go overboard. At six months old they were too young to participate in anything. It was more fun just to dress them up and ooh and awe at their cuteness, or sharing a storybook before bed.

Toddlers

By age two my kids understood plastic eggs delivered the good stuff, but they still weren’t ready for a sugar overload. So we loaded their baskets with fun things like bug kits, umbrellas, rainboots, puzzles and outdoor toys. They loved their magic bubble wands and sidewalk chalk. And when they were about school age we filled their baskets with bathing suits, sunglasses, educational books, and pool toys.

Pre-teens

Now as pre-teens, my kiddos are way into candy, so we don’t deny them. But we do set limits (for our own sanity). They get the most important holiday classics like a chocolate bunny and some egg shaped peanut butter cups. The rest of the baskets are filled with fun craft and science kits, seeds and garden kits or painting kits to keep them busy. My kids would make everything in one day, so I strategically hide them to dole out through the rainy days of spring. One kiddo mentioned she found these beaker creatures online and wanted a set of her own. Of course, we tucked that idea away for Easter baskets!

You can also skip toys and crafts and candy all together and put in gift certificates for experiences to a local zoo or ice cream place. A fun list of hikes tucked inside of a pair of new hiking boots with a plan to explore together. This holiday may be steeped in traditions, but there is no tradition dictating what kinds of things you put in your child’s Easter baskets. Other moms might have opinions about giving gifts at Easter, but you do what works for you and your family. I know for my family; it doesn’t work to hand my kids a bucket sized basket of candy. Not only would it be a sugar crash waiting to happen, but would also be very boring for my busy, active kids.

And if you don’t celebrate Easter in your family, celebrating the coming of spring with gifts and earth based ceremonies are just as important. We all celebrate in whatever way works for our own family. I have noticed the common threads between the celebrations usually involves family, food and time to reflect on the gifts we already have. Whatever holiday you celebrate – even if it’s just to feel joyful about spring – I wish you a healthy and happy celebration!

The whatever mom blogger bio

Tips for a Sensory Friendly Halloween

Post contains affiliate links. I make a small commission if links used to make a purchase.

Halloween can be overwhelming to anyone with sensory processing disorder (SPD). If you haven’t heard of this particular disorder before, you are not alone. Most people do not know what it is until their own child is diagnosed. The difficulty is that even with a diagnosis, you as a parent may struggle to understand your child’s sensory triggers.

According to the website Understood.org, children with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) “may be oversensitive or undersensitive to the world around them. When the brain receives information, it gives meaning to even the smallest bits of information. Keeping all that information organized and responding appropriately is challenging for them.”

Some kids never notice the feeling of a tag inside their shirt, or the seam inside their socks. But there are kids who are so distracted by this sensation that they can cry or scream, or even become aggressive. One in twenty children live with some varying degree of sensory processing disorder. Navigating daily life can be a struggle, let alone while wearing an itchy costume in a crowded, loud setting.

After speaking with other moms whose kiddos have SPD, I can share some really great tips. The most important thing is, do not force your child beyond their limits. Halloween activities are for their enjoyment and it is OK to let them enjoy activities in their own way. If your child can only handle wearing a small piece of their costume, or no costume at all, let that be enough.

PRO MOM TIPS

  • Select a costume that is mask free, or does not require face paint.
  • Let your kids use their own familiar clothing as part of their costume to help them enjoy dressing up.
  • For kids with auditory sensory issues, using noise cancelling headphones works great.
  • For kids who are sensitive to bright lights, start your trick or treat night as early as possible and take advantage of the day light.
  • If your child tires easily map out a short route, or bring along a wagon to let them take a break. And again, it’s OK if you cut your time short and head back home early.
  • Skip the costumes and make your kiddo feel included with fun family coordinated themed set of t-shirts. Use a small, personalization business like Mom Squad Creations to print up your matching shirts and you’ll be ready to head out together.

PRO TIPS

  • Avoid a meltdown by keeping your child informed of timing of events.
  • Host a small gathering in your home for your child’s comfort.
  • Trick or treat on streets with sidewalks to lesson anxiety.
  • Get creative in how your child participates. Nothing is set in stone. Instead of bobbing for apples, maybe your child can stack apples in a bucket.
  • Put yourself in their shoes. Being a parent of a child with sensory issues can feel overwhelming, but imagine being the child who is struggling to process so much sensory information at once. It can provoke a lot of anxiety not knowing what is happening next.
  • Certified Occupational Therapy Assistant Gina Bergdall suggests allowing your child to carry a fidget toy. This will allow them a constructive “place to focus their anxiety on.” Bergdall also shares these tips provided by the American Occupational Therapy Association. 
  • Pick only a few places to trick or treat and review that plan with your child before hand so they know what to expect.

If your child is overly sensitive to crowds or noises, there are no rules mandating they go trick or treating. You can make some really amazing traditions right at home. Bake and decorate treats, have a fun meal together, or make some popcorn and settle in for a movie. There is no wrong way to participate in Halloween! 

If this Halloween looks different than the way other families are celebrating, that’s OK. Embrace your unique traditions! If your child is comfortable at home watching Halloween specials and eating popcorn, join them! Deciding to follow their lead helps them feel capable and less stressed.

Roxanne Ferber is a twin mom, blogger and freelance writer. Her spookiest Halloween decoration is an empty coffee pot. *shudder*

Oh The Humanity of Game Night

Oh The Humanity of Game Night

Recently a group of my mom friends and I gathered for a game night event that can only be described as adventurous. Nothing about it was hazardous. We didn’t even leave the living room. We simply gathered to play just one game: Cards against Humanity.

Let me start by sharing that this game is NOT for anyone who is uptight, or timid about hearing and using colorful language that includes descriptive sex acts, body parts, bodily functions and worse. The list of offenses can go on. But, now that the disclaimer is out there let me share why this game was so much fun!

As moms we spend our entire day being appropriate. We model for our kids the appropriate topics to discuss at the dinner table. We teach them to use manners and respectful language. We even refrain, with intervention from a force deep inside, from dropping the ole F-bomb on a daily basis. I KNOW I’m not the only one who has stepped on a Lego piece and held back a generous amount of curse words.

Cards against Humanity

Our night wasn’t about getting together to use bad words and yuck it up over innuendos. It was about getting to share some laughs. Plus, it was nice to be in a kid free space eating snacks we didn’t have to share, and drinking our own beverages. We didn’t have to worry about whispering or spelling out words our kids can’t spell yet.  We could really relax and know no one will judge us for the non-politically correct things leaving our mouths because we could blame it on the cards. No one panicked about “how am I going to explain this to my kid later.” The freedom to let loose and go uncensored was darned exhilarating.

Moms playing Cards against Humanity

After the game was over and the cards put away a group of us lingered to talk. We were up well passed our routine bed times. The last time I was up until 1:00 a.m. it included a puke bucket and a thermometer. So, it was a thrill to be up that late catching up with moms I only get to toss out a quick hello to in passing.

I highly recommend starting your own game night with friends! You don’t have to play this game, any game will do. Just find a kid free space to let down your mommy-guard for a short time and relax. I know I felt refreshed and ready to tackle my mom duties the next day.

Tips for hosting an Epic Game Night:

Make sure you have a place for the kiddos to go. Whether it is off to grandma’s house, or upstairs with daddy, you will want a distraction free environment. Make it a place you can truly relax.

Ask everyone to bring their favorite snack to share! It can be as simple as chips and dip, or as fancy as a decadent dessert. Can’t go wrong with store bought!

Decide in advance on beverages. If you want an alcohol free space, or if you would like to include a little wine, make sure your guests know what to expect in your home.

Don’t worry about cleaning the house to white glove standards. You’re inviting moms! They get it! Just make sure there are plenty of comfy places to sit and maybe clean up some of the sticky parts.

Have the group decide on a game and let the fun begin! The mission of game night is to just laugh and connect with friends. Keep the game simple and energetic and the crowd will do the rest!

Got a game night suggestion? Leave it in the comments below!

The Whatever Mom is a full-time wife and twin mama living on coffee and wine. She enjoys the pure rush of cleaning the BIG potty between loads of laundry. It is her dream that moms everywhere accept and embrace the Whatever Mom philosophy which can be found here.

Find more from Roxanne at Hudson Valley Parent and at Masshole Mommy

How not to host a glow in the dark Easter egg hunt.

Bucket of glowing eggs
Bucket of glowing eggs

I was prepared to write a whole fluffy craft piece about how to host your own glow in the dark egg hunt. I realized it is more important to share what happened behind the scenes during party prep.

Being a “whatever” mom is new to me. I am by nature a high strung personality. I like things to go my way, as planned. I had several plans for this night. It was going to be epic! Not only did I plan on glowing eggs but glowing treats too. I planned for glowing Jello and glowing frosted cookies accompanied by glowing Sippy cups of milk. My kids would ooh and ah over the spectacle. My husband would think, “Wow my wife is so talented!”

Tonic water farse
Tonic water farce

Turns out, the science guy on goscience.com is liar. Tonic water does NOT phosphoresce under a black light (at least not the bottle I purchased). I was more than a little disappointed when the Jello did not glow. That meant my frosting would not glow either. I shouted a bristly, “Whatever!” through gritted teeth and tried to move on. But, I carried that disappointment with me. I attempted a little razzle dazzle with glowing Sippy cups. Not what I imagined. It seemed so much simpler in my head. I thought, “OK, there’s still time to salvage this party. I’ll start filling the eggs early.”

Glowing sippy cup
Glow Sippy gone sideways

Now, all you need to make glow in the dark eggs, is a twisted up glow bracelet placed inside a plastic egg. You can get plastic eggs and glow bracelets at your favorite dollar store.

Twisted glow bracelet
Twisted glow bracelet of doom

I couldn’t bend the bracelets small enough so I enlisted my husband to help. He tied them into a small pretzel shape and jammed them into the eggs. He only broke open six bracelets- releasing glowing ooze (Supposedly “non-toxic.” We’ll know more if he starts growing appendages). I was so disappointed that nothing was working according to my plan. This night did not look anything like I had envisioned. I was about to throw in the towel and call this idea of mine an epic fail. Then, I heard giggles and little voices squeaking with delight. My girls had picked up a pile of the glowing sticks and began running through the basement playing their own games. They used them to cast magic spells and send each other signals- all the while oblivious to the frustration building inside moms head. Suddenly it hit me, I didn’t need to get so worked up about what was going wrong. I simply needed to enjoy what was going right.

Actual glow egg
Actual glow egg

As soon as I let go and said, “whatever” (for real this time) the party turned out pretty perfect. My girls had so much fun hunting for glowing eggs, they didn’t even think to open them to look for treats. They took turns hiding eggs for each other and even cheered each other on. We had a lot of laughs and it was a total blast.

Learning to let go of perfection and the stress it creates in my parenting – that is what being a “Whatever” mom is all about.

Eggs on parade
Eggs on parade

 

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